Tongue In Face, Part 4

Part four of my essay, "How to Write: A Guide."

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Step Four: Steal Something

Still stuck for an idea? Experience got you down? Just can’t bring yourself to lie? Have no fear. There is still an option for you. Theft.

I’m not talking about products from your friendly corner store. That’s wrong. (Unless, of course, you’re writing a story about shoplifting.) I’m talking about stealing stories.

Are you boring? Are the stories that make up your life dull? No problem! You’ve got friends, don’t you? Of course you do! You’re a writer! Aren’t your friends stories interesting? Take them. Your friends won’t miss them.

Rookies will often make the mistake of asking permission to use episodes from another person’s life in their work. Don’t give in to temptation. It will only arouse the contempt of your friend. Instead, just take the story. They won’t mind. Trust me. In fact, they’ll probably admire your tenacity. Just imagine the delight on their face when they find a story they’ve been telling people for yeas is I print in the latest edition of Harper’s or The Atlantic Monthly. They’ll probably call you to schedule a lunch where they can thank you in person.

If, for some reason, they are unhappy about it, you should sever all ties with them. A true friend wouldn’t mind. They would feel a sense of pride for their role in your success.

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Part five tomorrow.

- TJG